Thursday

Mothers Day.... 2010

Mothers Day is a bitter sweet day for me.
My mom, Mary, Died on Mothers Day 11 years ago.  Although I'm a Mom and a grandmother, this day will never be the same for me.
Mom lived with me and my family the last three years of her life.. she was somewhat frail after loosing her leg to PAD.

Peripheral Artery Disease

 This disease came on about 5 years earlier.. Mom always had trouble walking. It got to where she had to stop after only 20 or 30 steps.. her leg and calf hurt, too much, but she made light of it... until one day I took her to a doctor.. after many tests they found her arteries in both her legs and chest were clogged.  She had surgery to clean out the arteries in both legs, and a balloon stent in her chest arteries...

A few months after her leg surgery she developed a sore in her large toe that turned to gangrene, and her leg was removed.  This was a very hard time for her and she did not take to the new prosthesis very well.  She did have her own apartment in a very nice assisted living  complex, then I moved to Florida and could not leave her there alone... So I brought her with me... yes, kicking and screaming.  I talked to my family first and we all agreed 'it's the best thing for all of us....So she finally gave in and we flew her to Florida and set her up in a nice bedroom in our home.... she started smiling again.  But......

Mom stayed mad at me for the next three years... although I truly did all I could to be of help to her... Then after the third year, I came home from work, flowers in hand for Mothers Day, and found Mom laying in her bed, morning coffee still on her bed table, TV on, and her, very much gone.... I was later told, "Renal Aneurysm". 

 The night before Mom died she told me "Your Eggplant dinner made her sick". Then next morning before I left for work she again complained about my food.  I asked her if she wanted to see the doctor, "no" she said, I'm ok.  I went to work

 See the Eggplant to  the left side of the fountain

The day after Mom was cremated my sister and I went to the fountain in the cemetery to pay a visit to where the ashes were... to our surprise my daughter came running wide eyed, "Mom, come look"!  There in the fountain was a full size, real, Eggplant!  We all stood in amazement not able to speak.   Mom was always a fun loving woman and a good joke was her favorite!  To this day we all tell the story of the Eggplant in the fountain.. Who would carry an Eggplant into a cemetery and toss it into the fountain?  Mom put it there to let us know, "She was ok and with us"... no one can tell me this is not true!

 Mom was the most important part of my life.. she was a wonderful mom who did so much for me and my children.... She was the only sitter my children ever knew.  When Mom passed away I was devastated.  I walked in a fog for the first 6 months of her death.

I came to realize death is part of life, and I finally learned to live without her, but she is still here... Moms always here with all of us... 

If you have lost your mom you know what I'm saying.   If your Mom is still with you, cherish her!

 Black eyed Susan's, from my garden, just for you "Mom", your favorite!

My sister made this needle work for me in 1999

                                                     

 "Happy Mothers Day Mom"

I love you with all my heart

4 comments:

Ruby’s Upcycle Designs™ said...

Hi Sandy, I'm here from NFF and thank you for following me!
What a bittersweet story about your mother. I, too, have lost my mother and not a day goes by that I don't think of her or here her voice in my head.
Happy Mothers Day to you! xox Beth

Rose said...

Your mom finding a way to let you know that she was good with you, thats just amazing, and I'm so glad for you that you understood the meaning didn't have to feel guilty anymore. Your advice to those of us who still have our moms is great. We all need to be reminded that time is not to be taken for granted. It goes much too quickly.
Hope your mothers day is special, and that your children treat you to a wonderful day!
Rose

The Polka Dot Closet said...

Sniff, Sniff, that was sadly wonderful. No one would bring an eggplant to a cemetery! What a great story. I am the fellow newbie from The Polka Dot Closet. Thank You for following, I am going to follow you also. Hope your enjoying the heat YUK! All of the blogs are talking about how wonderful spring is...Don't we wish! Carol From Orlando

Natasha said...

This must be a very hard time of year for you but I am so grateful that you shared this story as I have never heard of PAD before. Thanks for the info.

Take care and best wishes for you this Mother's Day,
Natasha.