Retired husbands....

After retiring  a mans lovely wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips  to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and  preferred to get in and get out..

Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women   loves to  browse. Yesterday the dear wife received the following letter from  the local Target.
Dear Mrs Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion  in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced  to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our  video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other  people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House Wares to go off at  5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the womens restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares", get on it right away.  This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor, that in turn resulted with a union grievance  causing Management to loose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms  on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the  children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows  and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children  obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began  crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"  EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as  a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he  asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly  humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna  Look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed  through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he  assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES  AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited  awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in  here.' One of the clerks passed out.

      * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The moral of the story... "Leave your husband home" the next time you go
shopping at Target,,, or any store for that matter !
Hope this cute story brought a smile to your faces on this Saturday am.. I'm sure many of you can relate!
thanks to my sis for this.


Continuing Saga of the Kitchen

This Kitchen reno of mine seems to go on-and-on!
Once again I'm back at it.  
My New Years Resolution will be "To finish the Kitchen"

Before I go any further I have to tell all of you "Counter Tops"
are so expensive and it's just not in the budget right now. 
After speaking to the Home Depot Guy about "What can I do
to update the old yellow laminate counter top, he told me of
a counter paint.  

Being the skeptic that I am, it was a worry to me  to paint the countertop.
But the HD Guy said "He knew many people who used this paint
and they were pleased with the results"!  What the heck!  What do
I have to loose but $14.99 for the can?  I could always get a new counter top later, if it turned out horrible... So, I gave it a try.

Following the directions to the "T".. I first scrubbed the counter,
dried well and went to it with a foam roller brush... it went on very
smooth and did not bubble or streak.  Was like painting a wall.

I chose a "Light Grey" color.. thinking it would blend in with my blue
and white theme....
Look how it turned out.....

I then bought some PVC wall molding,  to fill in the gaps between the
counter and the wall... I cut the lengths to fit and "low and behold"
I mitered the corner perfectly!

Using an adheasive, clear caulk I glued it on, using a few little 
nails to hold it in place.

I took a step back and said to myself  "Did I do this"?
With my "New Sink and Faucet", it looks wonderful! 

It has been a week now, I gave it the recommended time to 'cure'
(three days).   I am using the counter top now, very carefully and
I'm happy to say the depo guy was right, it is smooth, tough and
really feels good.  I am going to not cut on it and will be really
careful with it until I'm sure of it's toughness....
For now,, "I'm completely happy with the results".

For all of you with ugly laminate countertops... 
don't be afraid, go ahead and "Paint it"
  (did I tell you it was only $14.99) 

Now to make my way upstairs to do the bathroom counter top. That is
for another day (when the kitchen is finished)

(Did I show you the before?)


An Italian Mother  
Mrs.  Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the
two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying,
'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.' So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it.  But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping In her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama
Moral: Never lie to your Mama . . .. especially if she's Italian.

I'd like to thank my sister for this really cute morning joke...
I'm Italian, and I have a son !